People who know me are most likely aware that one my idols is George Carlin. I really think he's the great philosopher of our time. The man was a genius. In his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, one of his bits was just a list of people who he though aught to be killed. The list included people who read self help books, people with bumper stickers that advertise their honour student, people who carry their baby around in front packs, and self important techno-dicks with hands-free phone headsets. Well, since George died in June 2008, he won't be able to expand that list anymore, but I think I found some people who would definitely make the cut. It's a little more specific than the items on his list, but I think he would approve

Parents who don't allow their children's school to assign homework.

It's true. They're out there. Check this out. They signed what's being called a differentiated homework plan that allows for their kids to not have to have homework sent home. It's a contract saying that their kids can't have homework. No matter how many times I read it, it still makes no sense. Apparently these parents thought their kids (who are in grade 5 and 7) were too overloaded with homework and it "kept [the] children from improving their weak areas". Like what? Sitting on their ass playing guitar hero? Learning to masturbate quietly when people were home? I know that's what I focused on. I realize that these weak areas being referred to are their weak subjects, but I'm sorry, their weak areas aren't going to improve. However they will eventually become quite skilled in sitting in their underwear, eating cereal, and watching games hows all day.

This half-wit parent says that it's useless for the kids to be getting marked on their homework, because the older siblings and parents are the ones doing the homework for them. Well here's an idea bruno: maybe make your kids do their own homework and they might have a chance at not growing up to be a complete fucking imbecile like their parents.

What the hell is going to happen to these kids? Homework is a part of growing up and going to elementary and high school, and eventually university (if you go that road). When these kids grow up - or just age, because growing up implies that their will be some kind of maturing happening - are their parents going to try sign a no speeding ticket contract with the city police? Will they stand in court arguing that their kids don't deserve the ticket because it their too overloaded with parking tickets? They need to focus on not parking illegally because it's one of their weak areas.

Carlin said that today's kids are way too soft, and the fault lays on the parents. They want to protect their kids from everything. As Carlin said "these soft fruity baby boomers are raising an entire generation of soft fruity kids." But maybe Carlin would agree with it on some level. Maybe one day these kids won't have chemistry homework assigned to them, so they won't know to not drink the red stuff that only looks like Kool-Aid. Carlin called it passive eugenics. Maybe he was onto something.

I don't doubt that these parents aren't trying to help their kids. I'm sure they think that they're doing the right thing. But, to quote George one last time: "If you wanna know how to help your children? Leave them the fuck alone!"

I have returned!... I hope someone noticed I was gone

So, yes I have been absent from this blog page/time-taker-upper/place for me to rant things/excuse to use an excess amount of slashes. I do apologize for I'm sure you were worried sick. And what have I been doing you ask. Well its been a roller coaster ride.

1. I've been busy with school. This is always the easiest excuse to use.
2. When I haven't been busy with school, I've been at work, adding pictures of kittens into pictures of my friends.
3. I bought a Wii. I don't think that needs any real explanation.
4. I've been fretting about a few choice ladies. However, I think the fretting has ceased, and it better have because even I'm starting to think I've been a bit of a little bitch about it lately.
5. The occasional binge drinking.
6. Spacing out. This has nothing to do with drugs, I've just been finding myself sitting and spacing out for significant periods of time, usually while attempting to sit down to do some sort of homework. I think its been taking up probably the most amount of time because it's easy, free, and I won't have to see the effects of it until a later date.
7. Going to movies. Zack and Miri Make A Porno and Burn After Reading very well could be the funniest new movies I've seen in quite some time.
8. Masturbating
9. Growing a beard. Smyrish has started a beard growing contest on facebook. It's only one week in but I think I'm doing ok. I know I'm doing better than others. Also, just like #6 it's easy, and free That and I want to beat Smyrish. Here's what I'm looking like after week 1:


10. I got a cat. Her name is Starbuck (no it has nothing to do with coffee, but everything to do with Battlestar Galactica). She wakes me up at all hours of the night and likes to sleep in the sink, but she's very cuddly so that's kind of kick ass. Abigail Road gave her too me because she was causing Smyrish's allergies to act up too much.


11. Reading lots of comic books.
12. Trying to make a lot of new comic strips. I've got 2 sketched out.
13. Working out. I've gone from 238/240 at the end of august down to 228 just a few weeks ago. My goal is 220 by Christmas and it's totally do able.

I think that's about it. I'm sure that there's more, but I'm tired and need sleep, so I bid thee adieu.

Alice in Burton-land

So Tim Burton's is making a new Alice in Wonderland movie. Unsurprisingly Johnny Depp is in it too. I'm sure this makes some people happy, and will cause a large contingent of people to simultaneously crap and cream their pants, but do you know what I think? FUCK TIM BURTON! That's right I said it! Fuck Tim Burton. While I'm pissing people off, I'm going to go right ahead and say fuck Johnny Depp too, he's guilty by association!

I used to get excited about Tim Burton and Johnny Depp doing a movie together. It was something special. But now it's at to the point where they've just been making the same movie over and over and over again. But, before everyone gets their panties in a twist, I don't mean the same movie storywise, I mean visually. It's gotten to the point where I'd rather see a sequel to Planet of the Apes and find out what the ape-Lincoln was all about than watch another outing from the Burton/Depp brigade. I can already tell you that at some point Helena Bohnam Carter's going to show up and have crazy hair and crack-eyes, and so will Depp. There won't be a single leaf on any of the crazy, twisted trees, and the sky will be perpetually dark and gloomy, and the sun will only shine at the end of the movie...maybe.

It's not that I'm accusing Timmy of having no talent, because he very much does. I loved Big Fish. That movie was awesome. While it still felt like a Tim Burton movie, at the same time it was very un-Tim Burton. It was a breath of fresh air. I even enjoyed Corpse Bride, however, it did have the same visual style (crazy trees, perpetually gloomy, no sun, blah, blah, blah), and a disappointing storyline, I was too busy busting a nut over the animation to care when I first watched it. But if you take Corpse Bride's visual style and combine it with Sleepy Hollow, chucks of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Sweeny Todd - - - - excuse me while I go puke all over myself...there we go. That's the ticket....moving right along - - - - if you combine these movies you have just what I created: a big pile of puke. There are chunks that can be distinguished from other chucks but in the end its all the same pile of puke.

Like I said earlier Timmy-boy has talent, and this whole dark and gloomy style isn't something new, he's been using it all his career, back when he made Vincent when he was working for Disney. However, as far as I'm concerned he's not using his talent and he's slapping a lot of his fans (or probably more accurately, now ex-fans) in the face. Now, I'm about to use a word that I really don't like to use unless absolutely necessary, but I can't think of any other way to properly express myself. Here goes:

Tim Burton is a SELLOUT.

There I said it. If you plan on waiting for me in a dark ally to shank me please make it quick, and if you're now making your way up to a bell tower to give me the surprise of my life, please take some practice shots first and get the job done right to save me a costly ambulance ride.

But the fact is, he has sold out. He could use his creativity and make something new and fresh and astound his fans, yet he persists to go for the payday. He knows (and so does Depp) that if he sticks to his same old style there will be a big fat paycheck in it for him, and Johnny. They know that there will always be some fanboys and girls out there who will be ready to soak their pants on command just so they can get their payday, but you can count me out.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm totally going to boycott this new Alice in Wonderland. No, I'm not one of those fanboys who makes it his personal mission in life to rob some director of their hard earned 10 bucks. There's probably about a 99% chance that I'll see it in its first run in the theaters, and that's for two reasons. 1) Because if I'm going to continue this rant against Burton for years to come, I need to have viewed the material. I'm not that ignorant. 2) I actually hope that Burton proves me wrong and really does do something that I like, and not exactly what I'm expecting.

The Strip! #2

A Good Old Fashioned Rant

I hate facebook.

There I said it.

But before some of you ask "then why do you have a facebook account?", let me continue. I hate facebook for a variety of reasons. However, I also like if for a variety of other reasons. The main reason I like it, and still have an account, is for the messaging. People I know in both far away lands as well as locally, who also have facebook accounts, are easy to get in touch with. That's really the main reason I'm on the stupid thing.

Now onto the hate!

What sparked the idea to write this post is that today, in my e-mail, I received a message informing me that someone I know on facebook has invited me to join a group called "1,000,000 AGAINST THE NEW FACEBOOK LAYOUT!". I promptly denied the invitation and was about to go on with my sorry existence when curiosity got the best of me and I decided to take a peek at how many people where in this group, and what was being posted on the message boards and such. Well, I have to tell you that my disgust was at least triplicated (I think that's a word) and I suddenly felt a great deal of pity for these poor souls who obviosly have nothing better to do than to discuss and bitch and while and complain about the horror that will be unleashed on the world when the new facebook layout becomes the only layout they have to choose. I know, I know, it will be tradgedy.

...and it's not like it's a small group either. There are over 160,000 members, almost 2,500 posts on its main forum, and 51 disscussion board topics. People are talking about cyber-revolutions, and protests outside facebooks headquarters, and by reading their previous posts you can tell that these people are actually serious about this.

What has this world come to when you can't get a person to help an old lady get up after slipping on an icy sidewalk, but there are 100,000 cyber zombies talking about revolution and protests over a fucking website.

It just really makes me sick....and not just this topic, but the fact that this fraking website has become so quickly engrained into our culture. Daily you can hear people say "Oh that picture would make a great facebook profile", or "I'll facebook you later". Now granted, I will admit that that I have said these things. However, now that I have reminded myself of this, I will promptly vomit all over myself both as a sort of repentance, and because I have, in fact, just made myself sick.

Comics Kick Ass #1

Batman and Superman are jerks!


...and they are apparently really in love with themselves, or each other